Somber Thoughts

I was driving yesterday and listening to NPR.  The radio host was talking about the execution of John Allen Mohammed, the Beltway Sniper.  He took me back to the incredible horror and fear I experienced in 2002 as this man picked off at least 20 unsuspecting people doing unremarkable things.  All of this happening over a six-week period in the area where I grew up, where my family still lived, still mowed their grass, still pumped gas. 

It is amazing the emotions that emerge when you realize you have no control.  Anger is the predominate emotion and a desire for revenge and retribution seems to be closely aligned.  The want to have control seems deeply rooted within us.  I’ve often watched very young children express anger and frustration over not having control.  Oh, I’m not saying I don’t want control, I do.  In my own little petty ways I try to control my existence.  It makes me feel very small and insignificant to make the admission.  But I also know that the control I have is minimal.  I may be able to control whether I eat dinner or go out in the evening, but I cannot control if I will have a job tomorrow, if a truck will hit me, my heart will continue beating, the sun will continue to shine, my eyes will open in the morning, if there will be a morning. 

Anyway, I listened to people who were not personally touched by this sniper (other than being reminded that they have no control) spewing such anger and desire to enact horrible acts of retribution on him for his horrific acts.  And yet, those people whose lives had been personally touched exhibited a beautiful forgiveness and graciousness.  That always brings me back to the death penalty debates.  I do believe in the death penalty.  I just wish there were some way to only put those people to death who are criminally insane.  I wish they could have as long as possible to see the truth and know Christ.

My father wanted me to get a gun once.  I told him that I would not shoot anyone so I would be in more danger with a gun that without one.  Why would I, who have a salvation, a hope of glory, take away a sinners opportunity for that hope?  That just doesn’t even make sense to me.  I’ve had this debate with other believers and they say, but if the thief is trying to kill you, you should kill him.  I don’t agree with that.  Look at the results.  If they kill me I go to heaven and receive my reward and they have more chance to repent and obtain salvation.  If I kill them then they lose all chance at eternity and I still go to heaven and get my reward and I live with the knowledge that I ended a life.

I hope I’m never in that situation…but I cannot control what comes my way.

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